Oh please oh please

Don't see my heels and think

I dont know the struggle.

This gold watch was ten dollars at Walmart.

It leaves my wrist green,

And keeps me off my phone when the imposter syndrome kicks in and I have to breathe through the

"Has a salary" While my brain is still

Punching the clock of every minimum wage

Cobbled together schedule of freelance

Art and teaching gigs

And half learned life lessons

And flat tires it took for me to get here.

Because to me, I'm still auditioning to be the leading lady in my own damn life.

Oh please oh please

Don't see me looking out the window wistfully and think I'm above all this

Baby, I'm breathing.

I'm turning my face to the sun for the first time since college graduation

Turned to contacts canceled

And N95 masks and

Waiting...

Waiting for a chance to wear heels

And take the train to work

And let my wrist get green

And have something to line my bank account woth besides IOUs and broken Dreams

Please dont see my full face beat of

Dollar Tree makeup and think im only doing this until I can afford better things.

Let me close my eyes

And listen to my silly Broadway showtunes

And read my book

And dont think too highly

Of the girl who just learned for herslef whar a 401K is.

Oh please oh please

If you must look over at me

See the colorful pins on my lanyard my students gave me

As they cheered me on my way.

Look at the promise ring on my hand that likewise leaves my left hand finger green

And know I'm grateful.

Know I'm happy.

Baby, this is the best thing that's ever happened to me.